Consecration is key to a pursuit of holiness
So this happened like a month ago but it was the turning point of journey here in Kansas City. I came to an Awakening service one night feeling so heavy physically, spiritually, and mentally and was SO ready to receive from the Lord. I was so anxious for the Lord to make a change in my heart that particular night. I had been feeling like my time in Kansas City has been a waste because my heart wasn't right and I had been letting myself become distracted. I had at some point fell back into watching drama series which I had once given up to consecrate myself and guard my eyes. It's funny how the enemy can sneak in to take an opportunity to attack when you don't keep your guard up and stay in the word. Truth is, we as a Bride really are just not rooted and grounded at all and this is why it is so common for us to fall back into the same old sin we were once trapped in. What we don't realize is that some of the things we let our eyes see are not as clean as we think. We bombard our mind with trash from the things we watch and listen to. They are usually full of sexual immorality, slander, gossip, murder, impurity, witchcraft, and so much more! They are NOT just entertainment or beats to stir up your emotions or feed on the emotions you have at that moment! As Corey Russell has said, "Our senses are DULL!" Anyways! lol I began to flood my head with these shows, watching episode after episode after episode just because I wanted to know what happened next! And the next thing you knew, I had been sitting there for 6+ hours just watching them! I would stay up to a ridiculous time in the morning like 4am and be exhausted the next day and not even wanna go to the prayer room! I know right!? What is that!!?? It's like a veil was over my eyes during that period! It wore me out not only physically but spiritually. My spirit became weak, dull, lazy, bored, weary, confused, and just BLAH! I missed getting sweet revelations from the Lord, I missed hearing his voice during the day, I missed being able to receive and encounter Him. And it was that night at the Awakening when I finally have had enough of it and wanted out!! Now don't think that if in the future or even now have felt this exact way and wanted a change that you would need to come to Kansas City for an Awakening service because all the Lord wants you to do for it is repent and declare that you wanna turn from your ways and start anew. Your desire for change and more of the Lord is enough to move His heart and give you the desire of your heart. So Wes called a word of knowledge for those who are ready to seriously get serious and lay it all down and live a consecrated lifestyle and of course I stood up on the bleachers but didn't go to the front (while anxious for change, still hesitant and scared). An older lady came up to me to pray for me and she lead me through a prayer basically guarding my eyes and ears and using my imagination for the things of God and nothing else. I felt a little lighter but still knew I needed more prayer. Then Allen Hood got on the mi and spoke on the love of the Father and it being poured out on us and I realized that I really never fully received it. I knew I'd experienced a taste here and there of His love for me but never had I fully received it and felt it. So I definitely rushed up to the front this time. I wanted it and I NEEDED it. So I went up there, Allen praying over us, and just cried and cried and cried and let it all out at His feet. In the midst of the cry-fest, some people came up to me and prayed and prophesied over me. There was this one particular girl (her name is Christa) who stayed with me the WHOLE time and kept repeating this phrase "You're adored" in my ear and it was like one of Susan's analogy of a hammer hitting a rock over and over again until it breaks kind of thing lol where after a while, I was like WHOA! I'm adored!!! :) She also said that I had been speaking words of condemnation and shame and just lies over myself and that I needed to stop and literally speak what the Lord says I am over myself! She lastly said I was like a mountain but I could not for the life of me remember why she said that and her explanation! lol There was also another man who prayed and prophesied over me. One of the things he discerned was that I was an artsy person and that I saw beauty in things that most people do not and that the Lord loved this characteristic of me. He also mentioned my necklace shaped in like eye glasses (which was mentioned in the prophecy rooms at OHOP as well) and again, it was said that the Lord's eye was still on me and that He wanted me to see myself as He saw me. He also prayed over me a lot and just read my mail! He said exactly what I felt like my longing for change and wanting to get it finished that night and finally surrounding it all and he prophesied that I would be a new person after that night. He prayed that the love of the Father would go from my head to my heart, that God would brand me again and place that fire and burning desire I once had back in me. It was just SO good that night. The Lord really shifted something in me, woke me up, and brought a great change in me. He even gave me a little surprise after all of that (of course after I made a trip to the restroom to make sure my face wasn't covered in black from my mascara and eyeliner lol) and while I was dancing freely and jumping around, a cute little girl was walking by and she turned and looked at me and started to dance with me and jump with me! Children give me such great joy and that totally ended my night so well! God is so good and His ways are like no other! Be watchful because the enemy will try to attack frequently and try to speak lies in your ear. He will try to tell you that you weren't delivered from something, you really weren't healed (and even cause your body to hurt as it once did), that your fire won't last, that you'll go back to how you were before, etc.. Have no doubt and renounce and rebuke him and his lies. And you may fall and stumble at times but don't let the enemy fill you with shame and condemnation, just repent, get back up and start anew. His mercies are new every morning!! Praise Jesus! This is long, sorry! :)
15 more days!!!
Love you all,
Sunday, September 12, 2010
- i`m head over heels in love with Jesus. i was made to love Him and be loved by Him. i`m a musician. i`m a singer. i`m a dancer. i`m spontaneous. i`m goofy. i`m a smiler. :D i`m blessed. i`m random. i`m a good listener. i`m trustworthy. i`m original. i`m unique. i`m set apart, consecrated unto Him, and i live my life only to glorify, worship, and love my beloved with all of my heart, all of my soul, all of my mind, and all my strength.